Ariel: 大家好! 我是漂亮又可爱的林依晨!


Anonymous caller: Eh! Where my birdbird and xiao jia hui?!?!!?


Ariel: 哦， 导播觉得她们的长像与 language 都有点抱歉, 所以就把她们 fire 掉了啊


Anonymous ah neh caller: Sorry Miss, but can you speak english? I name Muthu, sell prata, only know what is 打包 and 干你娘, the rest I don't know, please miss, pity me, my mother sick in India, you speak chinese she cannot understand.


Ariel *Pouting*: Hmpf! All of you bully me! Hmm..but doesn't matter, cos my birthday coming in less than a month, so I'll forgive you all.....


Ariel: Anyways, welcome to sporkcentre, I'm your new presenter Ariel. And I'll be continuing where we left off the previous entry.


Ariel: Alright, firstly, it is common knowledge that Liverpool isn't a very impressive club. It's got a lame slogan and the signia's ugly as hell, and without a certain Steven Gerrard Liverpool could be facing the likes of Leeds and Bristol rovers on muddy unweeded soccer fields.

Ariel: Now here's the interesting thing...

*Flips page*

Ariel: The numbers below shows Arsenal's head to head records against an inferior club which fans do not even dare to walk alone.

Played: 180
Won: 60
Draw: 45
Lose: 75
F: 213
A: 248


Ariel: As you can see, they had difficulties owning such a weak team, and we cannot consider the 6-3 thumping last year as most of the goals were score by a certain Julio Baptista, and we all know where his allegiance lies. And even Arsenal's talisman Thierry Henry scurried off to Barcelona so that he won't have to live in this shameful past.

Ariel: And it is also worth noting that Liverpool has not beaten Portsmouth for a long long time. But it doesn't really matter, let's answer calls!

Mr. Chua: Hi, I'm Chua, pple call me UC. I'm a Ahseena sarporker.

Ariel: Supporter.

Mr. Chua: Sarporker.

Ariel: Sur..

Mr. Chua: Sar...

Ariel: Never mind, go on.

Mr. Chua: I'm an Ahseena sarporker for many many years, people always call me Bergkamp. And I got a brother named Torrence, they like to call him Torres.

Ariel: So why they call you Bergkamp and him Torres.

Mr. Chua: Cos they say I look like Bergkamp and he look like Tolles lor. You wan me show u my pigture? I GPGT wan wor...

Ariel: GPGT?

Mr. Chua: Got Pigture Got Torr..I mean talk...anyway, I give you my pic lah, weli handsum one lahz.

Ariel: *Coughs*

Mr. Chua: Miss, you ok?

Ariel: *Wheezes*

Mr. Chua: Aiyo, take care ah, I go piak piak with my bite bite liao, byebye.

Ariel: Whew, ok, oh, a certain Mr. Lim's faxing in some pictures, let's have a look...




Ah...winning eleven screenshots...
















Oh my, doesn't look good for Assenal, sorry, Arsenal.
















Oh well, looks pretty hopeless to me.















Ariel: Hmm, this Mr. Lim must be pretty good, I'll definitely want to marry someone like him next time.

Anonymous ah neh caller: Ello miss, I Muthu, I sarpork Ahseena also!!! I like Bacary Sagna!! He same colour as Muthu!! Can give me Mr. Chua's number? please miss, pity me, my mother sick in India and she like sexy voice like Mr. Chua's....

Ariel: Umm...ok....sure....