Pirates of the coffee-bean

If even Orlando Bloom the Legolas of Troy who takes pride in the cheap shot he took on Achilles can command the Flying Dutchman. Then I have no doubt we will be able to rule the Johor straits...someday.


Firstly, lemme introduce the crew...

Captain: Tui Phin

Reason: Charisma, honour, leadership, good looks and skill with the sword; he's got them all. Who else can we have?

Parrot: Salvin

Reason: Picture Salvin perched on Tui Phin's shoulders, need I say more? ;)

First Mate: Me

Reason: Least important role, all I'll do is summon the beast when needed.

Navigator: Caili

Reason: The 'X' on his map may always point to Hong Kong, but still, he's the only one who's been on the roads.

Lookout: Jun Hong

Reason: He's the tallest one mah....that is...when he's standing on the 5metre high lookout post.

Chef: Jia Ming

Reason: Who doesn't like catered food? *Comes along with two maids and a maid-ish bro as well as loads of cash.*

Cannon Fodder: Oswald

Reason: Good Riddance.

Secret Weapon: Anderson

Reason: Pretty obvious, no one will stand a chance against us now......


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We are special people, and special people do special things, therefore, we will have an airship.
Being the diligent first-mate that I've always been, I've done a blueprint of the airship, and I'll demonstrate its battle prowess to it by showing you an attack on a building.

Simple, at the first light of battle,
Jiaming will flee on his private jet.
Junhong will TRY to scout.
Caili will unload ammunition.
Tuiphin will act cool and speak jap while Salvin sulks on his left shoulder.
(Don't ask me why the picture says that tuiphin's right shoulder is aching when Salvin is actually sitting on his left; Malaysians are just weird so just accept it as it is.)
Next we load the cannon fodder and fire it at our target; destroying the target is only secondary when we do this as what we really really want to do is actually kill Oswald. It is just for kicks though as he will ressurect in three days anyway since he's a christian but still....who doesn't like to kill Oswald?

So Oswald dies and the target stands...what do we do? We unleash the beast that is ******** **** *** ****....the one whose name we do not speak of. And when we do that, victory ensues.




(PS: I did not sae Anderson Chua Wei Ting, ******** **** *** **** can also mean Handsome Chua Ass Wipe. Also anyone who I've offended with this post pls do not attempt to bankai me; for I've a 3315 with 9950 free sms and I'll flood ur mini inbox with smses until it a) Explodes or b) Gets stolen by an abang.)