Lessons of a jedi

Lesson 1 : How to barter using the force.


One fine day, in Anakin's hometown, Tatooine. Quigon-Jin was walking around the bazaar with Obi-Wan Kenobi searching for Anakin.

"Obi-Wan, you have the makings of a great jedi, and there is just one last lesson I must teach you."

Obi-Wan was glad to be praised by his master, "I will pass this final test, master."

Quigon gave a slight smirk, "We'll see about that, young jedi."

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An hour later, the pair reached the gates of the city.

Quigon pointed at the gates, "Outside this gates lie many beasts and forces of evil which the jedi cannot overcome with the force alone, we need the help of the lightsaber."

Obi-wan nodded.

Quigon continued, "The lightsaber is an invaluable tool and people will always try to pry them away from your hands, in this lesson, I will show you how to protect your lightsaber without the use of the force."

Obi-wan nodded in anticipation.

Just then, a imperial approached Quigon and spoke to him in a weird language which Obi-wan couldn't understand.

"Master, what language does he speak?"

"It's an Earthling language, belongs to the East I believe, I do not know much about the race, cept that they enjoy riding huge creatures with long noses. But I do understand abit of their language, it's actually Galatic Basic but there is a strong accent in it, just listen with the Force and you will understand."

The soldier spoke again, and this time, Obi-wan could hear. "I will like to buy your lightsaber, how much will it cost?"

Quigon turned and whispered to obi-wan, "Perfect, now I can show you how I protect the lightsaber without using the force. In this situation, I will quote him an unbelievable price, so that he'll give up."

"2 million galatic credits." Quigon told the soldier.

The soldier was bewildered, "That's too expensive!!!"

Quigon winked at obi-wan.

"Can you give a discount?" The soldier tried to barter.

Quigon was stumped, and he shook his head.

"No?" the soldier asked.

Quigon was getting impatient.

"No discount, no matter how many times you ask."

"Alamak, why no discount, no discount I won't buy from you."

"Very well then, I shall take my leave." Quigon was relieved he had found an excuse to take leave.

"Wait wait wait wait wait, okok, my last offer 5000 credits."

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why no? Yes!"

"No."

"No?"

"No!" Quigon was extremely irritated and obiwan giggled behind.

"Why you sell at such high price? You know I can get lightsaber at a much cheaper price in Serangoon road?"

"Then you go Serangoon buy, wherever that is."

"Come, gimme the lightsaber, take this 5000credits. That's what friends are for."


"Look, obi-wan, if the force needs to be used, the force will be used."

Quigon shook his head and held his hand up to the soldier's face.
---with the force---"I am not your friend and you will turn around, run out of the gate, take out your pistol, and shoot yourself in the head."



The soldier's eyes widened and screamed, "Why will I want to do that?!?! You don't want to give me discount, and you want me go die, you racist ah you, I going to call the jedi to catch you!"

Quigon gave a sigh, "I am a jedi....."

"Jedi then must give discount, so...2million last price?"

Quigon held his head in his hands and sobbed, "Yes.... that's the ......last ...price...just...just...go away!!!!"

"Come....disco....." his voice trailed off.

Quigon looked up and saw the soldier's body on the ground in pieces, with Obi-wan standing over the corpse holding his lightsaber


"Well master, I guess I passed?"